At Home in Spain-Favorite Phrases

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.” Albert Einstein

1 – Time is money

After I finished law school in Argentina, I moved to the U.S. to attend graduate school. On my first day on campus at UC Berkeley, I heard the phrase “Time is money”.

If someone was late for a meeting, I would hear something like:

“Let’s get started without him/her. We can’t wait around forever, time is money you know”.

After a few months in California I started noticing phrases about time in almost any conversation: “don’t waste my time”, “we have invested enough time” or “I am out of time”.

Keeping track of time and not being late to appointments was a daily struggle. I became very anxious about not taking too much time during office hours with professors or conversations with students. I was always worried about someone abruptly ending an interaction with “well, I’ve got to run”.

It seemed that in the U.S. time was an extremely valuable commodity that was in short supply.

I grew up in a small town on the shores of the the beautiful Setúbal lagoon in Argentina. When you live on the beach, life moves at a very slow pace. This probably explains why I was not accustomed to thinking of time in terms of money.

Back home, I understood time as a gift you share with people you love in the form of long afternoons with friends drinking mate (bitter tea which is drank from a gourd with a straw) or engaging conversations with family after dinner.

For me, time was a flexible concept. Time was fluid and infinite. There was always more time in the future so there was never reason to stress about “running out of time.”

2 – Poco a Poco

Four years ago I moved again to a new country: Spain. I noticed that here nobody uses the expression”time is money.” Instead I have been hearing another phrase almost every day:

“Poco a poco“. Little by little.

Unlike the sense of urgency evoked by “time is money”, “poco a poco” conveys a sense of peace. It is almost a gentle reminder that life moves at its own pace. It is an open invitation to lay on your back, marvel at the endless shades of blue in the sky and stop worrying about things you can’t control.

I noticed that depending on what mindset we adopt, the same situation can result in different levels of satisfaction.

Let’s imagine you find yourself in a small town in Spain asking a clerk to put a rush on your order so you can have internet installed in your home as soon as possible.

The clerk tells you that there is a ten day wait for installation.

If you use the “time is money” approach, most likely you will get frustrated because without internet you feel disconnected from the world and can’t get any work done. You will demand to talk to a supervisor and try to get a shorter wait period. Regardless of how successful you are in getting the result you want, the incident will probably ruin your day.

However, if you use the “poco a poco” mindset, you will approach this situation in a completely different way. Most likely your reaction after being told you have to wait ten days will be to smile to the clerk and say:

“Bueno, ¿qué le vamos a hacer?” Well, what can we do?

The clerk will cheer you up by replying

“Diez días pasa rápido”. Ten days go by fast.

And then he will happily say:

“Todo se va a solucionar poco a poco“. Everything will be solved little by little.

At first sight, the “poco a poco” approach doesn’t seem very efficient. However, since it helps you avoid feeling angry and frustrated, there might be some value to adopting it.

You might want to experiment with it. Perhaps you can adopt this phrase for a few weeks and use it as mantra or soothing phrase you can repeat over and over when you are under stress “poco a poco”…everything will get done “poco a poco.”

3- Tranquila

Almost every day, I have a chance to experience the “poco a poco” approach in my new life in Valencia, Spain. This way of thinking seems to be embraced by a lot of people I encounter: la mesera (the waitress) at the restaurant, el empleado (the clerk) at the government office o la bibliotecaria (the librarian) at the local library.

Most recently, I had a chance to experience it in an interaction with an agente inmobiliario (real estate agent) in Oliva.

I had made an appointment with a realtor to see three houses. I promptly arrived at 1:00 pm. The realtor greeted me with a cordial:

“Buenas tardes”. Good afternoon

Since he was in the middle of a heated phone conversation, he quickly added:

“Toma asiento por favor“. Take a sit please.

I waited for fifteen minutes until the realtor finished talking. He was in no rush. He kept exchanging jokes and laughing with the person on the other side of the line. When he hung up, he sat at his desk and we talked about our families and hobbies for another fifteen minutes.

Finally, it was time to go. The realtor took some time to close all windows and doors before leaving the office. All of this was done at a slow pace and combined with casual conversation along the lines of:

“¿Está lloviendo?” Is it raining?
“Espera un minuto. Busco un paraguas.” Wait a minute. I will look for an umbrella.

There was no running around, no urge to move fast.

At around 1:45 pm we finally got in the car to go visit houses. After we visited the first two homes on the list, the realtor explained that we would have to reschedule the last visit.

When I asked what was the reason for having to finish so early, he replied:

“Son las dos y media, ya es hora de la comida.” It is two thirty, it is time for lunch.

He then added

“Tranquila, podemos ver la otra casa mañana“. Calm down, we can see the other house tomorrow.

When I asked if we could see the last house in the afternoon, he responded:

“No, yo no trabajo por las tardes. Tengo familia.” I don’t work in the afternoons. I have a family.

I have never had an interaction like that with a realtor in the U.S.

4 – Solo Dios sabe

Yesterday, I had another opportunity to reflect about the way in which time is perceived in Spain.

I was on the bus that takes you from the town of Gandia to the beach, a short fifteen-minute drive. I sat in the back of the bus and put my earphones on.

Five minutes before we arrived at our destination and without any notice, the driver turned off the engine, got out of the bus, and went into a coffee shop. He ordered a cortado (a small cup of coffee with a bit of milk) and smoked a cigarette. All the passengers were left sitting on the bus. There was no warning or explanation.

I looked around to see if someone was upset or ready to complain. To my surprise, not even one person seemed to be bothered. When I asked the person next to me how long she thought we would be waiting, she calmly said:

“Solo Dios sabe.” Only God knows.

She then opened a little box, offered me a mint and said:

“Que hermosa vista, ¿cierto?” What a beautiful view, right?

We quietly sat there for ten minutes enjoying the lovely view of the naranjos field until the driver came back.

Orange Fields — Plantaciones de Naranjas

5 – Después del uno viene el dos

When you settle in a new country, at some point you have to make the choice to either stick to the vision of the world you brought with you or adapt to a new way of living.

If you choose the first option, most likely you will spend endless hours criticizing people in your new culture for not doing things the right way. By “the right way” I mean that narrow view of the world you had at the time you left home. If you choose the second option, you will be faced with the challenge of interacting with people from another culture without any preconceived notions. This requires discipline, empathy and a curious mind.

I recently heard this lovely expression:

“Después del uno, viene el dos.” After one, comes two.

It is a way of reassuring ourselves that one thing will lead to another. No need to worry. Life has a natural rhythm and there is no point in trying to speed it up. The number two always comes after the number one, so there is no point in trying to jump ahead to number three or four. Just go with the flow.

As I spend more time in Valencia, I am starting to gain a new appreciation for phrases that help me understand how a culture views life.

“Poco a poco” is still my most favorite Spanish expression. The idea behind it is that things are out of your control. You let life take its course and do as much or as little as you can. Eventually things always fall into place.

I am slowly learning to live in between cultures. Argentina is the country of my childhood and it will be frozen in my memory forever as a magical place where time does not exist. The U.S. is the country where my professional life started unfolding and time always moved at a fast and exciting pace. Spain is now the country where I am experiencing life without a roadmap, just living in the moment and being open to what life has to offer.

Spain is my “poco a poco” country and I try to enjoy every minute of it.

¡Felicitaciones! You made it to the end. ¡Buen trabajo!

I hope you picked up a few new Spanish words and had a chance to learn some new vocabulary.

Now is your turn to tell stories! Have you ever found yourself using the “poco a poco” mindset? Feel free to drop me a line or leave a comment in English or Spanish sharing your experience.

Hasta pronto! Valeria

Now, let’s review the Spanish phrases in today’s story:

“Poco a poco“. Little by little.

mate – bitter tea which is drank from a gourd with a straw

“bueno, qué le vamos a hacer?” Well, what can we do?

“Diez días pasa rápido”. Ten days go by fast.

“Todo se va a solucionar poco a poco“. Everything will be solved little by little.

La mesera – the waitress

El empleado – the clerk

La bibliotecaria – the librarian

El agente inmobiliario – thereal estate agent

“Buenas tardes”. Good afternoon

“Toma asiento por favor“. Take a sit please.

“Está lloviendo?” Is it raining?

“Espera un minuto. Busco un paraguas.” Wait a minute. I will look for an umbrella.